


Weapons Chatter

by Denise



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-27
Updated: 2012-06-27
Packaged: 2017-11-08 16:04:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/444958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Denise/pseuds/Denise





	Weapons Chatter

 

 

Title-  Weapons Chatter

Author- Denise

Category- Smut/PWP

Season- 5

Spoilers – Warrior, ITLOD,

Rating- NC-17

Content Warning- Sex….bad puns

Summary- When you have no tv, what else is there to do????

Disclaimer Stargate Sg-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Sci-fi and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author

 

For Sue – It was all her idea. And yes, they do have a punderful time

 

 

Weapons Chatter

By

Denise

 

 

 

`"Yeah, well, all this weapons chatter gets my blood pumping…" `

`Daniel - Pretense`

 

 

 

 

"Get some sleep, we have to bond in the morning." Jack's words echoed in Sam's ears as she closed her eyes and tried to relax enough to fall asleep. Their tent was comfortable, far nicer than some places they'd slept over the years.

 

The candles scattered around the tent filled it with a soft flickering light and the warm aroma of melted wax. The candles and the open sided fire pit in the center of the tent created an oasis of warmth that chased away the chill and damp of the planet's night. Their beds were large pillows set around the fireplace, several inches thick and more than enough to cushion them from the hard ground.

 

Knowing that even though they were surrounded by Jaffa, they were as safe as they could be off world, they weren't maintaining a watch, which was a refreshing change.

 

Unfortunately it was that presence of Jaffa that was the reason she was so restless. Every one of those Jaffa around them had a goa'uld in his belly…a goa'uld she could sense.

During the day she'd been able to ignore the sensation, but now, in the still and peace of the night, it crept over her like a herd of tiny ants, making her flesh crawl and her nerves tingle.

 

Knowing that she'd never relax enough to fall asleep, she tried to at least stay still and quiet so as not to disturb Jack or Daniel.

 

She could hear the noises of the camp, the talking of Jaffa a few tents away, the crying of a restless child. A log in the fire snapped and she gasped, startled by the sound. Great, just what she needed, adrenaline. Yeah, that'd help her sleep.

 

A faint snore cut through the air and she rolled her eyes, giving up on feigning sleep and staring at the shadows flickering on the ceiling of the tent. Ah yes, even better, Daniel's adenoids had to kick up. At least Teal'c was staying with G'tano and Raknor. The last thing she needed was to share a tent with him and his gastro-intestinal issues. You would think after six years, his stomach would be used to human food.

 

"Carter, would you go to sleep," Jack complained quietly.

 

"Sir?"

 

"Or at least have insomnia quietly."

 

"Sorry," she muttered, rolling over and fighting the urge to punch the pillow. Maybe she should go for a walk or something.

 

He sighed and she heard him sit up. "What's wrong?" he whispered.

 

"Colonel?"

 

"You're usually out like a light," he said.

 

She sighed and rolled back over, moving to look at him. "It's…all the Jaffa. Thanks to Jolinar it's like sleeping under a live wire," she confessed.

 

He frowned. "It didn't seem to bug you today."

 

She shook her head, moving to sit up and pulling a brocade pillow onto her lap. "I had stuff to distract me today. Usually I can ignore it, it just seems a little…"

 

"Overwhelming," he supplied.

 

"A little." She shrugged. "We're only going to be here for one night."

 

He sat up, rolling his eyes as Daniel's snores got louder. "They're gonna think we're killing him or something," he said. She chuckled and fiddled with the edges of the pillow. "You did good today," he said.

 

"Sir?"

 

"Put a few Jaffa in their places."

 

She chuckled. "That was fun."

 

"Especially after K'Tano's 'the female' comment," he said, making quotes in the air.

 

"That almost makes up for the blue dress," she muttered. "I wonder what K'Tano would do if we suggested that he'd double his number of warriors by training the women?"

 

"Probably have kittens," he said, moving to sit beside her, presumably so they could talk softer and have less of a chance of disturbing the sleeping Daniel. "There's no way these boys are going to let women play with their staff weapons."

 

"Outside of the bedroom anyway," she groused.

 

"Carter?" His eyebrows rose, nearly losing themselves in his hairline.

 

"Well, look at them, sir. Barefoot and pregnant is a career not a cliché. These Jaffa would die before they let a woman have a weapon."

 

"You think these women can handle a weapon?"

 

"I think you'd be surprised at what they could handle. Staff weapons are pretty straightforward. They're armed and ready in no time, they've got a short refractory period and never really run out of ammunition," she said, her eyes going down to her thigh, and his hand that was between them, so close that she could feel the heat from his fingers though the heavy material of her pants.

 

"And zats?"

 

"They're not quite as intimidating as a staff weapon, but they're a lot easier to deal with. They fit better in the palm of your hand; one little switch and they just pop right up. Very efficient."

 

"Just ready in an instant," he said, his hand slowly moving to rest on her thigh as they both shifted, now facing each other. 

 

Her right hand covered his left, her fingers tangling with his as she felt her breathing quicken. "Their only real drawback is that you never know how they'll affect people," she said as his hand moved, sliding up her thigh to her waist. "Sometimes they can just give you a little buzz, other times they can pack quite a… punch." Her voice faltered as his hand slipped under her t-shirt, his fingers trailing lightly across her bare skin.

 

"Unpredictability keeps things interesting," he said, his hand pushing her bra up, the rough pads of his fingers scraping gently over the sensitive flesh of her nipple.

 

"Yeah," she gasped, her fingers digging into the mattress. "It can also be a bit of a problem. If you don't know what to expect, it's hard to prepare."

 

He grinned, his cinnamon eyes sparkling merrily. His right hand slipped into his pocket, pulling out a small, square packet. "Don't leave home without it," he quipped, tossing the condom to her.

 

She caught it, and then leaned forward, twining her arms around his neck. "What about Daniel?" she asked softly.

 

"What about him?" he answered, rolling her nipple between his fingers. "He drank two glasses of wine. He's good until morning." He leaned into her and she fell back with a slight oopf, the thick mattress cradling her body in softness.

 

His mouth settled over hers and she groaned softly, barely registering the nimble fingers of his right hand fumbling with her pants. Her zipper slid down with a rasping growl and she felt his hand snake into the opening, his fingertips tickling her sex through the thin barrier of her underwear. She moaned, breaking the kiss as her hips squirmed.

 

"What about guns?" he asked, his mouth moving to her neck, nibbling her flesh.

 

"What?"

 

"You think they'll get used to our guns?"

 

"Oh, I think so," she answered, her hand moving from his neck and sliding between them. "They'll have to get used to a few things," she said, deftly unbuttoning his pants and lowering his fly. "It does take longer for our weapons to get ready," she said, slipping her hand under the waistband of his shorts and cupping his semi-rigid sex. "They're not quite as instantaneous as theirs." He moaned into her neck as she caressed him, rolling his balls in her palm and filling him fill and harden under her ministrations. "But once they get going, they can pack quite a punch."

 

"There is that pesky ammunition problem," she said. He pulled her shirt up, baring her breasts to his gaze.

 

She moaned, her hand tightening over him.  "How do you suggest we fix that?" he asked.

He pulled her nipple into his mouth, suckling gently. Her back arched and she pulled her hand from his pants, instead using it to cup his head, keeping his mouth exactly where it was.

 

"I don't...bullets, just give them bullets." Her head tossed and she closed her eyes, surrendering to the sensation.

 

He raised his head, blowing gently on the wet flesh of her breast. She moaned, her fingers digging into his hair as she tried to push his head down. He complied, his rough, warm tongue swirling around her other nipple, his teeth scraping it gently.

 

"They need protection," she muttered, rocking her hips gently. He raised his head, frowning a bit. "From runaway bullets."

 

He chuckled, pressing the condom she'd dropped into her hand. "We'll get them some Kevlar vests," he said, raising his head and licking the few beads of sweat pooled at the base of her throat.

 

She ignored the distraction and tore open the wrapper, pushing down his pants, her fingers caressing his firm ass. She felt his erection spring free from its prison, its hot weight branding the bare skin of her stomach.

 

She rolled the condom on. "We'll have to teach them how to use it," she said, smoothing the latex over his hard length.

 

"I'm sure they'll figure it out." He reached for her waistband and she planted her heels, raising her hips so he could pull the heavy material of her pants down. As he freed her legs, she yanked her t-shirt over her head, struggling a bit with her now tangled bra. He removed his own pants and shirt and stood over her for a second, his lanky body bathed in flickering golden light.

 

She raised her hands, beckoning him to her and he complied, covering her as her legs spread, welcoming him to her.

 

"We'll have to come back," he said, settling his hips so that the tip of his penis brushed the swollen lips of her sex, teasing her with its nearness.

 

"We will?" Her hands cupped his ass as her legs wrapped around his, trying to pull him closer to her.

 

"Mmmhm. Target practice," he said, giving into her silent requests and sliding home, sheathing himself in her warm and willing body.

 

She groaned loudly as he filled her, stretching her deliciously. He gently put his hand over her mouth, one finger sliding between her lips.  "We'll need to bring some silencers," he said, withdrawing and thrusting gently. She moaned her fingers feeling his ass flex as he thrust, her tongue wrapping around his finger.

 

He brought his free and up and pinched her nipple, chuckling as she moaned louder, her back arching off the mattress.

 

His thrusts increased, pounding into her body with a quickening rhythm. He started to grunt with the effort and she moaned in time, her legs tightening over his, urging him on.

Pressure coiled in her body and she surrendered, feeling it sweep over her like an inexorable tide, rising higher and higher until the wave broke, leaving her lifeless upon the shore.

 

He thrust a couple more times, then she felt his muscles convulse, the sensation of his seed spilling into her muted by the condom.

 

He slumped over her, his bulk again pressing her into the thick mattress. She felt him pant into her neck, his hot breath tickling her ear.

 

"It'll be interesting," she said softly, her hand sliding up his spine, tracing through the sheen of sweat.

 

"What?"

 

"Seeing which they prefer, rapid fire or single shot."

 

He chuckled.  "Well, one's good for accuracy, with the other you just gotta get close."'

 

"But if you're running short of ammunition, you have to make every shot count," she said.

 

He shrugged. "You just have to reload."

 

"It's too bad the vest is ruined. We could compare," she said, kissing him softly.

He grinned roguishly, pulling away, his flaccid length slipping from her. She watched him pull the condom off, tossing it into the fire. He bent over, reaching into the pocket of his discarded pants, pulling out two more small square packets. "Did I ever tell you I was a boy scout?"

 

 

<><><><><> 

 

 

Daniel rolled over and groaned, dragging a pillow over his head to shield his eyes from the glaring sun. Who in the hell opened the tent flap? A gentle breeze played over his skin and he frowned, raising the pillow to get a better whiff.

 

Recognizing the bitter aroma of coffee, he forgave the transgressor, pushing the pillow aside and staggering to his feet. He stumbled out towards the fire, shooting daggers at the two other members of his team, disgustingly awake and cheerful at this way too early hour of the morning.

 

Sam held out a mug of coffee and carefully sat down before accepting it, not in the mood for inflicting third degree burns upon himself.

 

"Morning," Jack said cheerfully, ignoring Daniel's dark glare. "Sleep well?"

 

"No," Daniel growled, missing the startled look on Sam's face.

 

"Too much wine?" she asked.

 

He shook his head. "Too damned much weapons talk yesterday," he complained, taking a sip of his coffee. He closed his eyes and massaged his forehead. "I dreamed about guns last night. Little guns, big guns, automatic, semi-automatic, little bullets dancing around in the air, staff weapons doing the do-si-do with zats…" He opened his eyes and shot them a baleful glare. "It was like Walt Disney threw up on the armory."

 

Sam choked, trying to disguise her laughter with a cough. Jack gave her a few half-hearted pats on the back, and then picked up his mug. "That's what you get for drinking too much," he said.  Daniel shrugged, shaking off his rebuke. Jack got to his feet, tossing the dregs of his coffee onto the ground. "I’m gonna go wash up," he said, jerking his head towards a small stream running along the edges of the camp. "We leave in an hour."

 

He walked off and Daniel turned towards Sam, holding his mug out for more coffee. She poured it and he got to his feet. "I can't wait until we get back," he said, walking into the tent, picking up his shaving kit and shoving his feet into his boots.

 

"Why not?" she asked she asked as he set down the coffee, quickly tying the laces on the footwear.

 

"I want to see you keep a straight face when you show the Jaffa how to put on a Kevlar vest," he shot over his shoulder, smiling at her gasp.

 

Chuckling under his breath, he ambled towards the stream and an unsuspecting Jack. Oh yeah, this was gonna be fun.

 

~Fin~


End file.
